i talk to God every single day, and i think it's saved my life thus far.
God,
i think last night was a real wake up call for me. as much as i feel i have really improved on myself, i have a lot of work to do. thank you for showing me even though it was a painful process. it hurts to have to see my own flaws and how they affect other people so greatly. even though i have to go through a loss right now, i know that it was the right thing to do for both myself and the other people involved. i think we played off each other in bad ways, and even though i was in the wrong too, they have flaws as well. nobody is perfect. i am not here to focus on what they did wrong though - it is my responsibility to recognize my harmful actions and do something about them. i am going to be better, and i am going to use this as a lesson and carry it with me.
i know what i want now, and i know what i need to focus on. i only hope that my wants and desires align with your wants and desires for me. thank you for forgiving me for how awful i’ve been. i know you know how sorry and guilty i feel inside, and i am going to work to fix what has caused this feeling.
i love you. thank you for your wonderful gift of forgiveness and redemption.
dear God,
i’ve been praying every night. i’ve been living my life filled more with belief and less with doubt. i’ve been trying so hard. i keep asking you to show me signs that everything is going to be okay, and every single time i ask, You show me what i ask for. why am i still so anxious? i just want to jump into whatever i am doing filled with complete faith and no anxiety whatsoever. i want to walk through darkness knowing that nothing can hurt me as long as i have You. i am trying so hard, and even though i am making steps.. baby steps, i want to just be there already in my relationship with You.
i love you.
dear God,
why is it that when things seem to be getting better, there’s always something that makes things take a step backwards? i can’t imagine it’s because i’ve been getting too cocky and not needing you, because i have prayed to you every night. i rely on You every single day. when i’m sad, i know You are with me, and that i have no reason to fear anything because You will work it out.. You will prevail. so why, God? why?
i love you.
please let things get better.
even if it’s little by little, the little things soon add up to the big things.
THANK YOU, God.
i love you.
dear God,
i know you do answer prayers, slowly, but surely.
i love you.
dear God,
i haven’t written in a while. instead, i’ve been talking to you outloud.
i just want a second chance. everyone deserves second chances, right?
i love you.
dear God,
please help this sadness in my heart go away. my heart feels heavy today, and i can’t figure out why. i know some of the reasons, but others aren’t so clear. i’ve tried to keep myself busy this weekend, and i know me letting go has definitely been helping You work. please help me to continue to help You, and please help me continue to improve and grow. i know things are getting better and will be getting better. please take care of everybody in my life, especially my family and my best friends. thank you for this weekend - the words, the experiences, and the memories.
i love you.
dear God,
i really wasn’t aware that my life was synonymous with rollercoaster. one minute i’m feeling amazing, the next i feel like complete utter crap (pardon my french). i pray everyday for strength. what is wrong with me? why am i not getting this like i should?
i love you.
dear God,
thank you. it’s nights like last night that make me feel like things can and will get better. it renews my faith and strengthens my hope. thank you. i love you.
dear God,
i know i’ve been slacking on my notes, but i’ve been trying to live my life and remember that you have a hand in everything that happens. i’m trying to relax, let go, and let You happen. i keep You in my mind every single day, and You are always in my heart. i silently pray before i go to sleep, when i wake up, and when i’m just walking around and feeling like i can’t go on.. like i can’t try anymore.
thank you for helping me be strong.
i love you.
